On Career Paths.

Satisfied customers.

Does there exist such an occupation where, I could come to your wedding..... and make it fun. 

I think I could make a LOT of couples happy. 

I mean, these people spend countless hours and thousands of dollars trying to create the Perfect Day, right?  In all reality, what people talk about is How Fun/Lame the Party Was. 

What I Will Bring to Your Day:

1. No one will remember how you ran out of champagne if I am delivering a toast.  I will likely be singin, crying, gesturing wildly, or a  combination of all three.  The drama of it all will distract all attendees from the waitstaff forgetting to bring the rolls out.  (Not the ROLLS!)

2.  I will always gladly take on the task of Starting the Dance Floor.  Every bride is always concerned with this Great Feat.  Rest assured, I don't care about how I appear to your dorky relatives from Iowa.  Strike it up, Mr. DJ.

2a.  I know all the steps to the Electric Slide, Boot Scootin Boogie, Bunny Hop, the Pretzel, Cupid Shuffle, and Dougie.  I would throw this service in for free, but will charge if I have to put my hands on your Aunt Marge's shoulders or if I get stepped on.  

3.  I will get your crankiest family member on the dance floor.  He (it's always a he) will find me adorable, or in the very least oblige me in fear of appearing racist.  

4.  I will request the sleeper hit.  I'm not embarrassed to make the DJ download Justin Bieber on his iTunes.  Everyone will love it, and everyone will talk about how cute it was that the DJ had such "bad taste". 

5.  I will stop the conga line. 

6. I will inevitably end up having a heart-to-heart with one of your immediate family.  The Big Pink Elephant will be resolved, and you will leave on your honeymoon in peace. 

7.  I will make sure you get your money's worth from the bartender.  Sometimes, I will even surprise you and pay for a keg.  Because I didn't bring a gift.  Because I never do. 

8. I will end up in the bathroom with the bride at a very opportune moment.  To hand her my lipstick/shoes/ponytailer/the rest of her dress.

9.  I will randomly bring the "ONE THING youcantbelieveyoudidntthinkof" that made the party.  Like glowsticks. 

10.  I will play along with any 'wedding clingers' I might come upon as to maintain the fun of your reception.  I will give them all fake numbers, but there will be no 'scene' to buzzkill your Wedding of the Century.  I will run interference on all of your bridesmaids and young cousins.  Everyone will think they fell in love at your wedding, until the next morning.  

Feel free to contact me to discuss pricing!  Discount if you mention my blog!

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