Oh Hey, guys.

Wondering where I've been?  Yeah me, too.

The truth is,  this is what's been going on.

One Day:

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AH! LIFE IS SO GRAND!

I LOVE LA!  THE SUN! THE FUN!

I'M SO HOPEFUL ABOUT MY DREAMS!

I HAVE TALENT!

I AM FIT AND VITAL!

LET'S GO DANCE ON THE BEACH AND MAKE OUT!

The Next:

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i hate everyone.

i hate la. 

shut up.

i'm just gonna watch season 2 again. 

I swear, some days I just feel so fantastic about who I am and where I am headed, and other days I can barely scrape my face off of my couch cushion.  I feel miserable, exhausted, and beyond pathetic.  I stare annoyedly at the ringing phone and decidedly don't contact daylight.  I fall in and out of sleep, while distracting myself with any form of entertainment that can make my mind quiet.  My mail piles up, because I can't stomach the anxiety of having to open any of it.  I know, it's mail.  

Well, my usual remedy for this illness is to run toward another fresh start.  This girl just thrives on something ELSE.  So I start dreaming of places to go, things to see.  My fingers start flying over my keyboard, searching Craigslist for sublets in Nashville and jobs in Chicago.  I mean, there are still so many cities I want to live in, and so many people I don't know yet....  

Well poop.  I just can't yet stand the thought of leaving all of the improv, comedy, acting stuff.  Coco JUST moved here, and I really do love so many things about LA. 

So here's my compromise to myself.  I basically took the summer off from ambition, laying around and being a piece.  At this point, I'm gonna give this all another good college try.  Really do it.  After the end of the year, I'll run away somewhere else if I still can't calm myself.   Ready, steady....