I'm feeling cornered. Short of breath, and like I can't hide. I'm also feeling quite dramatic.
This last week I was indulging in my daily (ahem twice daily-plus?) login in facebook to keep up with the happenings and mishaps of all my dearest friends. All 400 and more of them. It occurred to me that I will never be able to know/care about the goings on in their worlds. Nor should I try. What was even more disheartening was that like it or not, they are able to peek into my business, if they so wish. and I let them. Oh dear. This is not the first time I have questioned my relations with this cyberspace rabbit hole, but I have now compiled some bothersome observations:
1) The sheer numbers: I have many a time felt the need to do a "facebook flush", if you will. I think it's healthy to evaluate your VIP list of peeps and trim the fat. My policy is such that, if I would not go out of my way (read: cross aisles, yell out, cut off old ladies) to greet you in the grocery store, ya gots to go. I know I've removed close to 100 just last summer. It's bizarre that I feel a pang of guilt every time I click that 'remove from friends' button and yet, I dare not produce to you a name of such an individual who has been removed. Can't recall. Touching, I know. I also find myself judging people who have collected over a certain number of 'friends'. Apparently, in my head you are either an attention hungry floozy or trying to reach tons of people to sell something. Lordy, I hope Mark Z doesn't read this.
2) The way people use it. No, I don't want to read about what you ate for lunch. Nor do I want to hear that your life is so sad. Nor shall you post your declaration of love/hunger/indifference/constipation. Don't use it in vain revenge, either. Tell me something interesting. Puh-leaze?!
3) How it governs me. My friends (the live ones, not just those linked by FB) and I always joke about how "nothing is real til it's on FB". Isn't that horrendous? As soon as anything happens, we wait for the profile update. We tease other readers on a person's wall by posting a vague reference to an engagement/pregnancy/new job/boob job/ travel plans/funny incident. In reverse, I have taken to being quite choosy with my updates. I don't post any job details until I have the contract signed, and I keep certain subjects completely off limits. Who AM I? This little asian girl was pretty much born without a filter; and now she is delicately considering what she posts on a stupid website? But who can blame me? Anyone can start a minor revolution nowadays just by posting something particularly shocking/exciting/scantily clad. Oy.
A word in rebuttal: I love facebook. We go way back. I was first introduced in the fall of 2004 when Gonzaga was added to the seemingly exclusive list of private and large college universities that were allowed to keep tabs on each other and exchange drops of wisdom (ahem: 'dude, the UM rager was insane!') from across the States. I love that I can keep and reestablish contact with people that I might otherwise have never been able to. It makes me smile daily. I know that it's fun. I also know that I am not the first nor the only person to write self reflecting prose questioning the use and dangers of this social networking tool. In fact, the NYT just this week published an article regarding email being just as addictive as any other bad habit. CNN urges its patrons to be secure and thoughtful with their facebook pages. It's just not easy, folks. My iphone has access to my FB page. You know what there ISNT an app for?! Facebook Rehab.
I'm gonna try to cut back. Hang on, gotta check my notifications first.
Love Love Love.
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