Just some things I wanna tell you about Africa, poorly collected and type-vomited out to you.....
Money is everywhere. You can see it in the shiny bank revolving doors, and the gleaming shop windows. The grocery stores are stocked with produce and shiny bags of snacks. People carry designer bags and drive luxury cars. There is no deficit of funds here.
However, only certain people have it. As much as there is a wealth disparity worldwide, it is HUGE here. I was constantly noting the farmers/laborers carrying bundles and holding children while walking alongside the highway, past shiny shopping centers and car dealerships. No one else seemed bothered by the disconnect, as far as I could see. The poor are dirt poor, and the rich are FILTHY rich. It really doesn't take much (by my standards, of course) to make a living there, but if you aren't born into support and resources, it's a steep and arduous climb.
Africans know how to eat, quantitatively speaking. I'm not making a joke about not starving in Africa, but people there know how to put food away. Whenever I shared meals with locals, I was shocked and ultimately jealous about the serving sizes they heaped on their plates. They don't, however, really know how to eat vegetables. I was there for a month, and really only had access to real vegetables when I cooked them myself. Otherwise, you'll be hard pressed to find a real veggie on the menu, let alone offered to you.
sidenote: also- everything is so SALTY. My poor kidneys were in revolt this entire trip, constantly trying to clear my body of the pickled-person state I was putting it in. Yikes,
There are no Asians. I must un-cheekily report to you that Janni and I were a sensation wherever we went. We would both report that alone, people would stare intensely and without abandon, but only some would engage. Together, we were basically the Kardashians. Locals came up to me and proclaimed that they had never seen an asian live in person before, and gee golly some of the men made sweetsweet comments about our body parts and faces. I can still hear them turning their heads to sing "hel-loooo, ladies.", as we walked by. In Durban, my taxi driver told me that to him, I was like a perfect apricot. He had never seen a slanty before. Sometimes, it's fun to be a novelty item. Other times, it's just plain harassment.
You know, I like to do things. I like interaction. I like creating connection. So, my friend Matt who is on my improv team and pretty similar, told me recently that the back of his credit card says “ask for a high-five!”.
WELL. That’s important, I wanna play! Also, I can do better!
So, I came up with that right there.
Now, I am not (so) delusional to do this as any sort of showcase for my vocal or musical abilities. I merely think it’s fun to put yourself in situations. I collect stories. I don’t take myself so seriously. I think it’s funny.
Mostly, people don’t pay attention and either swipe my card without so much as a glance, or preemptively ask for an ID without actually reading what it says on that strip. Due to the lack of attention it brings, I hardly ever remember that I've done this to my Most Used Credit Card.
However, there have been a few times that prudent employees will notice, look quizzically glance my way, and/or raise an eyebrow. I slightly sheepishly remember my own game of Chicken with myself, shrug my shoulders, and ask if they have a request?
The most memorable have been:
"Proud Mary" -the very first time I was asked, at the worst place in LA to make an ASS of yourself. Cafe Gratitude is a vegan restaurant in a trendy neighborhood that I LOVE, but that also demands an air of anonymity and disgression. People keep their heads down, their voices low, and try to give all the celebs their space, ya know. So when the server returned with my card and informed me that her manager has asked her to request the Tina Turner hit, I had no choice. I belted out a chorus and verse to a completely unappreciative crowd of H-wood Somebodies in their shades and floppy hats. Coco and Jae, one of whom is a touring musician turned music producer, the other a music connoisseur with the voice of an angel, offered NO HELP. Not a single yeah yeah yeah, no buh-duh-dum-dums, no harmonies. NO, the two of them were doubled over laughing so hard that their musical faculties had completely left their bodies.
"The Theme to Full House"- this was the greatest. A man working at Bloomingdales said that his young daughter had just discovered the show via reruns on Nick at Nite. I sang him every damn word of that song and he recorded it to play for his little girl when he got home that night.
"Roxanne"- this one happened today. I walked into a music store to buy a present, and the homey behind the counter noticed my card. He gave the request to his coworker, who had helped me pick out my gift. The dude chose this Sting song, after thinking for too long. I seriously, only knew:
"ROOOOX-Anne! You dont have to put on the red light! Roooox-aaaaaanne, (put on the red liiiiiiiight) Roooooox-aaaaanne, (put on the red liiiiiiiiight)....."
By the time I wailed those lines out, we were all laughing so hard I had to wipe tears from my eyes and sweat from my lip. I noticed a guy standing by the bongos, with his back toward us whom turned at the racket. He grinned at the ruckus and yelled over, "That's ALL you know?!" But when I say guy, I should just say American Idol Winner. Woof.
These are a few of the non-baboon species I encountered while in Africa. I should note that I didn't get to see lions or giraffes, which bummed me out pretty badly. The safari we had slated in Zimbabwe was in this awesome park where we could camp and wake up amongst the rough, but due to heavy rains and the season, it got flooded out the week before we went. Heartbreak central. But these are my favorite animal shots nonetheless:
This guy was on a tree at Refilwe, in Lanseria outside of Johannesburg. Janni will roll her eyes, but I swear everything in Africa is a dinosaur. The animals are just so BIG and unlike anything I have ever seen before; they can't be normal. Rock dassies are just the cutest little nuggets! This pair was at Tsitsikamma National Park, outside of Storms River, South Africa. They scurry up over the rocks and live the crevices of really high cliffs. Huge families crawling all over and peeing everywhere.
This baby lamb was captured also at Refilwe, as part of the property. The herd had just produced three babes, and I caught this one in action.
This monster was also caught at Refilwe, waggling across a field to the river. HUGE. Easily 8 ft long. DINOSAUR. DINOSAUR.
Mr. Penguin hung out by me for awhile, amongst his peers at Boulders Beach on the Lower Peninsula, outside of Capetown. Shortly after this photo was taken he was found engaging in a violent altercation with another male suitor.
Ok, I don't like birds. I ESPECIALLY dont like birds that are as tall as a monster truck with beaks the size of my face. But seeing this ostrich family just hanging out in the wild was, pretty cool. You see that little baby underneath? Barely visible, but he's there! DINOSAURS.
This was at the top of a hike, and is clearly a dinosaur. No other explanation.
Baby warthogs in Zimbabwe. Warthogs are classically hideous, but we happened to be in Africa while all the animals had babes, so the babes make the warthogs forgiveable for being warthogs.
Tell me THIS doesn't terrify you. They're MASSIVE DINOSAURS.
Smellyphants are my eternal favorite, and yes they are also dinosaurs. But they're also really playful and smart. This young adolescent was digging and pooping at the bank of a river, where we were on a boat.
Crocodiles are apparently lazy dinosaurs. They sit on their eggs for a month, and don't eat during that time. They also don't clear the trash water bottles from their nest area, which is just poor housekeeping. Zambezi River, Zimbabwe
I still don't like birds, but the guides we were with lost their beans when they saw this red owl. They told us that they hadn't seen these guys for over 6 years, so I guess he's kinda cool and pretty. For a dinosaur.
AH these beasts were terrifying. We were on horseback in Zimbabwe, and the guide told us that they are by far the most aggressive and dangerous animal in the park; that they will attack for no reason whatsoever. They are extremely skittish and apparently it was a big deal that they were there. As soon as we got here, this one on the left immediately got up to stand and glared straight at us. I was paralyzed in fear, and the guide was whispering at me to "GET YOUR PHOTO. DO IT NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW" Even he was scared of dinosaurs.
This bird is probably not a dinosaur, and I don't really like it. However, it's a good shot I took in Lesotho, and the guide was super happy to see him, so here he is.
Africa is so many things, but one of the first things I think of when people ask me about my recent trip there is the F@$%ING BABOONS. It's no secret that the wildlife is perhaps the most distinguishing characteristic of this place, but hell, I was not prepared for the non-romantic aspect of my jolly holiday in the wild kingdom.
Janni and I were in Storms River, South Africa hiking in the Tsitsikamma National Park, along the coast. It is breathtakingly beautiful, you get to weave through lush jungle before you emerge to the craziest coastline I have ever seen (above!). While we were in the jungle-y portion, I had my head down examining the ground the entire way up. You see, we had just heard some paralyzingly scary stories about black mamba snakes, how they can rise up 6 ft to strike you, and how a mere glance of a fang can leave you asphyxiated and dead in 15 minutes. The locals were telling us that they kill lions and entire herds of cattle. Soooooooo I was focused on the snakes, which was not a simple task given that the terrain was covered in smooth ground vines and roots. Everything looked like a big gray snake. I was doing a particularly good job of this as we came a down a section of the path when Janni grabbed my shirt and hissed "MINGNI. Do you not SEE where you are going." Umm, no. What? Oh, that.
I was literally about to kick him in the tush. He sat about the height of my nose like that, and was the ugliest shade of gray. I felt totally weird about it, but he glanced our way and seemed unimpressed and unbothered by our presence on the trail.
So depending on where you grow up, you learn the wildlife tricks for survival, right? Be big and make noise around mountain lions, play dead for bears. Don't touch sharks. rightrightright. Well we don't know what to do about baboons!
So we called the hostel (they call them backpackers) so ask about what we should do. This guy was sitting squarely in the middle of the trail, we had already made a few hours progress, and I am not one to allow wildlife to foil my plans. The guys at the backpackers were also unimpressed, and breezily told us to just stay a healthy distance and leave them alone. Well what does that mean?!
We were about to find out. As we started getting brave and moseying closer to this furry gargoyle in attempt to coax him elsewhere, a pack of other baboons all drop to the ground from the trees. There were probably 6-8 of them, smaller and daintily formed. They all had at least a few babies on their back. They were not pleased to see us. Groan. The moms all saw us immediately and GEEZ their expressions are so human-like! I could tell immediately that they were angered and threatened. I scurried backward down the trail past Janni while she rolled her eyes. As I turned back to respond to her lack of urgency, I could see a few of them tearing down the trail toward us. I yelled at her to run, and the two of us scampered farther until they were out of sight. Perhaps it was a hasty reaction, but I just kept imagining this scene from Disney's Tarzan, where Jane gets descended upon by hundreds of rabid baboons, and has to be plucked to safety via swinging vines and cliff jumping. I was not about to become victim to another Disney Damsel-in-Distress scenario.
We ended up playing push and shove with these guys for 40 minutes, sneaking down the trail and just waiting for them to move on until the path was clear. The babies were just too cute, playing and rolling around in the underbrush. The adults were all business, pulling branches down and munching loudly on the leaves they yanked off.
As our trip progressed, the relationship between us and the babs never improved. They were everywhere, basically rude criminals wherever we went. Because their hands are shaped like ours, they are able to use everything we do, and you could plainly see them opening car doors, doorknobs, backpack zippers, and fence latches. They're irritatingly smart as well, and we couldn't even carry groceries in the street without them knowing and wanting to approach us. They're also emotionally abusive! We heard stories about how they would break into people's house and trash the kitchen, without even eating anything. They just wanted to make a mess. What assholes, eh?
See the rest of my Africa pictures, including the not to be missed Tsitsikamma National Park here.
So this post is obviously three months late; but I still felt like I had to spend two hours writing it. Before I started, I had no idea what I would even write about since it feels like nothing happened; but turns out that was just classic I-have-nothing-to-wear Syndrome. 2012 was filled with comedy shows, crazy great meals, a constant revolving door of visitors, live music, sunny outdoor recreation, and my eternal love affair with yoga. Oh yeah, and I'm still a PICU nurse working and stuff; but no one really wants to hear about that. Yearly wrap up; look for the fun links!
January:
UCB 101 graduation show
My family spent Xmas in LA, but as soon as they left I dived right into the local fare. I rung in the New Year completely out of my element at the fanciest spot in LA, kissing my dear Molly and a middle aged British man at midnight. Good omen, eh? This month I started my first level of UCB Improv classes, and subsequently developed my first amorous infatuation with a teacher. Sheepish grin. I was completely knocked over sideways by the UCB method, and became obsessed with learning and developing this skill. Still am. I spent a lot of time this month seeing live music, and being outside in those hills (addendum: I've hiked 7/10 of those listed; and 6 of these are legit)
Bored Birthday Girl
February: I always try to get home to Spokane for my Goddaughter Sammy's birthday. Made it again this year, and got to spend 9 days with my friends and family. I was introduced to the great band Mutemath via live concert (the best way), and played dress up with my best gal. I also was delighted with the comedy scene here in LA, went to the Meltdown Comedy show every week, continued my UCB classes with level 201, and of course then saw a LOT of UCB shows. This is also the month my bestie ASHBO and I became friends, which is noteworthy because, as my sister says, I hate everyone until I love them.
At the end of February, I spent 10 days working at the annual TED conference in Long Beach. My friend works for the organization, and he got me a spot amidst the brain love to experience it for myself. It was overwhelming and I met a lot of smart, fun, and socially awkward people. Bill Nye the Science guy and I got to be fast friends. I'll try to not let it get to my head, but no guarantees.
Draw Something
March: The month started out with a few of the TEDsters in LA after the conference to play. I dragged them all over the city, showing them my favorite spots. We all laughed, I made things weird. Eyeroll. I turned 26. (gulp, still closer to 25!) A few of the work gals dragged me out to a the Spare Room at the Roosevelt. QuestLove was DJing. Oh okay. The app DrawSomething swept the nation and I was taken prisoner by it. It was a fast moving tornado, wrecking my life and taking my attention for a mere month before losing steam and leaving a trail of wasted time in its wake. It was devastating.
Coco came to visit this month, and we spent a week eating our weight in Cafe Gratitude entrees and pretending like she lived here already. Ashley's best friends came to visit from STL, we all had laughs and I made things weird. But funnily, of course.
At the end of the month I got talked into a spontaneous trip to Vegas to meet my bestie and Sammy's mom TL and her crew of friends for a weekend of such abhorrable events that I refuse to even recall them in my head, let alone divulge to all you hairy monsters. I was punished at the end of this month with the worst sickness I can recall, and did not deal well as you can see here:
Standup notes from my first time up
April: This month was dark and stormy in LA, and I was all riled up and thrashing around. Well I finally got some balls, and got onstage to try standup. I immediately fell in love with the instant gratification of the provided stage, light and mic. Go figure. Ashley and I got to be fast besties this month, and kicked off a long spring season of bars, boys, belly-filling and body scrutiny, beaches, and Bullshit. Lots of whoo-hooing and next morning ugh-NOing going on this month. I was still continuing my UCB classes, getting through level 301. I had a serious identity crisis when I gave in to my logical mind and took a position at my work, instead of maintaining the rouse of travel nursing. I had been in LA for 18 months, the jig was up. I went through New Employee Orientation and loathed myself the entire time. My friend Monica came into town from Seattle, we tried to watch Silence of the Lambs both for the first time, shown outside in a cemetery. I started packing blankets as soon as Hannibal escaped from prison, and ended up stress eating sweet potato fries at Cafe 101.
Dinking around Griffith Park
May: The Sloshy Spring continued as Ashley and I tried to make light of our lack of life direction and purpose. We both wasted time wine-ing our way through LA men completely wrong for us; feeding our delusions with fear of boredom. Lots of veeeeery deep reflection on love and life this month. She tried online dating; I renewed my vow to never do it. In between regrets, I played outside a LOT as usual. I introduced her to runs around the Silverlake reservoir, and Ashley took me to boxing class. This was fun, esp because I ended up with uber tough looking bloody knuckles the next day. I bought a new car this month, and realized my penchant for price haggling and mind games. I refuse to acknowledge the asian factor to this. I drove my old car from LA to Seattle in a very short 24 hours, stopping to see my sister in Salem, OR and then spent a few days squeezing my family and friends in Seattle. Did some standup, and ran a 5k.
Cinespia movie screening
June: This month is usually gross and gloomy in LA, but certainly not true, at least weather-wise this year. The aforementioned cemetery movie screenings lightened up, and I could be found there with a pile of sleeping bags and a picnic dinner every weekend. Ashley was living with me this month before leaving in July for a Eurotrip, so our bestie-ness was at an all-time disgusting level. We were inseparable; in a constant cycle of taking workout classes, and refilling with trips to Whole Foods. My Gonzaga bestie Sheriann and her husband Peter came into LA on their Tour de California, so I took them down to San Diego to see our other roomie Andrea. While there, I fell asleep at the bar after fully intending to let the dancing Panda out that night. Woke up the next morning with a new sense of my age, in full on self loathing. Gross. I also spent 10 days at home in Spokane this month, taking care of my mother and trying to coordinate her new life after being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and kidney failure. Double gross.
It's ten thirty. I'm in REM
Not the tat I got; but an option for later, eh?
July: I spent the 4th in a Thai massage. Seriously. The 4th always reminds me of Thailand, because the Fosters are there at that time every year, and I always wish I am with them. I got a new tattoo in a whirlwind caffeine high dream state. Not sorry yet! I spent another week in Spokane this month; having to go care for my mom after her kidney removal surgery. I breathed a small sigh of relief after her surgeon informed us that the mass they found was not cancer. Her and our lives are still completely changed, but I was definitely not trying to deal with the chemo battle. My mother does not care for Western Medicine with its big bad Chemicals and Lasers; and it was battle enough to get her to consent to surgery. Blurgh. This month I also sent my sister to South Africa for her semester abroad, and one of my favorite patients home after NINE long months in the hospital.
My favorite place in the world to wake up, Foster Farms in Carnation, WA
August: Cue exhaustion! Also cue refusal to slow down! I started my last level of UCB classes this month, still was doing standup as I could and improv as well with my team Reply All. We formed after all taking class together at the 201 level, and after some Destiny's Child-esque lineup changes, are still going strong. I ran up to Seattle to meet my cousin Janae's new baby, Baker. Spent a dreamy few days with the Fosters on the Farm, before jetting to Vancouver, BC for a weekend. I hadn't been there since childhood, and really needed to reacquaint myself with Hollywood North. I got to spend some QT with my bestie Kim, and fell in love with the Pacific Northwest all over again. To all you non-natives reading this: GO AWAY! Stay wherever you are; leave the NW alone! I love it so much and want it to stay exact as it is. Both Ashley and Sheriann/Peter came back around to LA for short stints, so I had plenty of dinner dates and summer love.
Happy Birthday Molly!
September: Coco finally moved to LA this month, and I was over the moon. We were loving on the ideal weather this month, and entertaining new and old friends alike. I was still doing standup per usual, and more regularly this month than ever before. Coco's and my friend, Jae, flew down from Spokane for a short weekend to see the incomparable Peter Gabriel at the Hollywood Bowl. It was a crazy great show, and my first at the Bowl. Renewed my want to perform on a huge stage; so I bought a guitar and started YouTube lessons. I can now play 3 songs. Badly. You just let me know if you want to hear Bieber's "Baby" over and over again, k? This month I rediscovered karaoke in K-town and finally ended the runaround with another Barnacle on the boat to progress (read: I stopped talking to a superrat. Still working on the maturity thing, see.)
Hiking in Lieper's Fork, TN
October: Fun month! This is the best month to be in LA, in my opinion. My bestie Kim from Vancouver came to play with Coco and me, and we spent a week eating disco fries at Canters and watching skateboarders in Venice. So much standup and LA fun dinners this month, the sun makes all things festive. I somehow found it intoxicating and scooted over to the Beast Coast to see Ashbo in Nashville, where she moved to after leaving LA. Had never been, got to do lots of autumn leaf hikes, meet crazy cowboys, and dress up for Halloween. I got to dress up three times this year; and ended my run with an epic dance battle that I unofficially won. The other party was a little low energy, but he does star in a sitcom so I guess whatever. I was also peeled to Twitter, frantically searching for Hurricane Sandy human interest stories and retelling of stranded meet-cutes between strangers.
Birthday dance party favors
November: My eccentric and safety-obsessed neighbor moved out of the big house in front of my guesthouse, and I got a new set of neighbors, whom I love. This month I hit three parked cars in the span of 18 hours; please insert Asian driving joke of your choice. Thankfully the only damage was to my reputation, which I don't take too seriously. My Aunt and Uncle came through LA briefly, and I got to feel Asian and use Chinese for a second; which rarely happens for this lil Twinkie. Well, I guess the biggest news is that I saw movies and found a great spot for Shabu Shabu in Little Tokyo. Just kiddin', I went to Africa. No seriously guys, I went to Africa. Spent a month traipsing through South Africa, Zimbabwe, and Lesotho. There are so many posts pending about this trip, I wont do it a disservice by merely adding a little blurb here.
Trying to never leave, Tsitsikamma National Park, South Africa
December: I was in Africa. Then I came back and was bummed out the rest of the year. Serious couch time, staring angrily at my ringing phone and wishing that no one knew my number. It was really precious.
This year is that of my 10 yr High School Reunion. You know, when you reach such an age, it's important to stop, reflect, and resonate on the decade past. On the time spent in your life since you left your friends and upbringing, to set out in pursuit of your youthful daydreams and earnest goals.
VOMIT. I'm just kidding.
What I really want to talk about is how dumb people, including myself, are in high school.
A scene:
I was recently in Spokane, and caught the show of a band that I really like. We were sitting in a box on the balcony, and a man sitting in front of me caught my eye. He was of average height, build, appearance. Scruffy face and cheesily gelled hair. Dirty Carhartt jacket and ill fitting jeans. His shoes were untied.
He caught my eye because he was the coolest, hottest, biggest man on campus in High School.
(Now now, I understand all-too-well that appearance is always the worst indication of character. But I'm also human and have eyes to see and a brain to discern. We all make choices every day as to how we will appear to others, and that has to mean SOMETHING about how we think and who we are. So don't pretend like you don't care about looks. hmphrt.)
I wasn't going to say anything; after all we weren't close in High School, and certainly aren't close now. I was pretty marginal on the cool scale, and still only keep in contact with a select few HS friends. But apparently I looked familiar to him as well, and he turned around and spoke first. After the initial streak of pleasantries, the convo went on:
him "Hey, so are you living here? "
me: "No, actually I'm living in LA, I've been doing some acting and I work as a nurse. How about you?"
him: "Oh, that makes sense cuz you were always doing plays and stuff in school. Well I didn't go to college or nothin, but I'm here in the valley. Hey, do you have a lighter? We lost ours and don't got nothin to light our smokes. and oh hey, come over to our friends house after this. We got a bunch of weed so you should come rage." Really.
Now I'm not writing about this only to criticize, but mostly to highlight MY stupidity, ten years ago. This guy was the envy and prize of every guy and girl I knew at that point, and I could never have imagined at that time, that there would be a day when I didn't find him to be the Best Thing Ever. I laughed aloud at myself, thinking about all of the time I spent thinking that I would never be worthy of him ever even knowing my name, and how he was SO LUCKY to be such perfection.
Isn't it funny how, perspective seems to be earned with age? We are born with none whatsoever, only aware of our own feelings and needs. Then as we age, we become more and more aware of the Bigger Picture. That's the thing about high school that I knew but didn't really believe: your life hasn't even started to start yet. Who you are and what you will be is ever-changing, and now is not the time to be at the top of your game. If anything, I am now thankful that I wasn't beloved at a young age; I knew very early that I had a lot of cool factor to make up for, a lot to work toward. I'm not saying that I'm even close now; but certainly learning to place smaller and smaller importance upon whomever the It person of the moment is.
This moment of wisdom felt like the first hour of the stomach flu. That's it for me, folks. Blech. Oh, and I'm not going to my reunion. I got enough of that already.
I am so one of those people that thinks she's invisible within the confines of her car. When I'm behind the wheel, there is no limit to my behavior, whether it's bouncing and wailing loudly along to the radio, picking my nose, or changing into/out of yoga clothes. Truly, it's ridiculous.
But recently, I was stopped in my tracks while plucking my eyebrows at a routine red light stop. The car in front of me, in ever terroristic fashion, turned.....his rear windowshield wipers on.
I have never felt so violated in my entire life. Oh yeah, Voyeur McPeeping? You were watching me and judging me so intensely that you noticed your back windshield was DIRTY?!
You are disgusting. How dare you. Mind your OWN business, sir!
I know, it sounds really pretentious and overwrought and dramatic. But the truth is this: when you chase your fears, when you force yourself to writhe in struggle, you gain unbelievably clear perspective.
So you know how I've jumped out of a plane twice? .... and loved it? (Read about the first jump here, and the second here.)
I have a serious fear of heights. Don't like them. You can theorize about physical stature vs. altitude phobias all you like, and I will agree with every point you have to make. In lieu of this, I had made an informal commitment to facing this fear once a year. I only have one rule about this: If I am going to jump out of a (perfectly good) airplane, I want to be seeing mountains and water at the same time. So no jumping over deserts or wheat fields for me.
As you may also know, I recently spent a month in South Africa, where mountains and ocean are aplenty. I had made mental note of where I would jump, and got excited about my first international skydive. But then I got there, and THIS creature intervened:
This is my sister, also known as the Haver of Her Own Ideas. She had perviously gone on a trip with her study abroad friends to this town on the Garden Route, called Storms River, where they all went bungee jumping off of the tallest bungee bridge in the world. Gulp.
See, I had never had any aspirations for bungee jumping. I didn't understand the thrill; why would you want to jump from 800 ft when you could jump from 16,000? Plus, I had read the health and wellness articles. Isn't that suuuuuper bad for your back? But Janni was convinced that I was missing out, and so I somewhat begrudgingly got on board and signed up to jump off of the Bloukrains Bridge. First of all, this.
You see that vehicle driving over? THATS A SEMI. Over the center of the concrete arch is where you jump from. Later, we drove over this bridge on a bus, on our way out of town. My palms started sweating, just because it was so high and the bridge was so massive. Upon first glance at this bridge, however, I felt fine. Because it was so massive and the canyon was so deep, that my brain processed the thoughts as basically not real life.
But then the second obstacle was this.
In order to get to that section under the bridge to jump, you have to walk approx 800 ft through this mesh tunnel, which merely consists of I-beams screwed up into the underside of the bridge, mesh under your feet, and NETTING. I wish I could tell you that I simply didn't look down and pranced my way across..... but the truth is that I clutched the beams and gritted my teeth as I crawled through. My fingers slipped with sweat as I felt the mesh give under me with every step of my flip flopped feet. My sister hollered that I was moving turtle-ishly slow, but I honestly felt like I was sprinting. Hyperventilating will do that to you. After the turmoil of making it across the tunnel of doom, I still had the task of oh, jumping off of the bridge.
Let me make this clear; the staff at this establishment was the epitome of professional. I watched everyone else jump, and by the time it was my turn, had regressed to the developmental age of a toddler. As the guy tied the rope around my ankles and bare feet, I squealed at him to tie it tight; I HAVE SMALL FEET.
SO then I was basically carried to the ledge, with Janni screaming allegedly inspirational things to me from behind. I was ashen, unable to really even take stimulus in. The guys started to count down and I went into full panic mode; shaking my hands and head. no No NO NONONONONONOOOOOOOO.
Here's what I didn't know before; the fear of bungee jumping lay in the lack of sensation. You are literally only attached to the bridge by the rope around your ankles, which really feels like absolutely nothing when you're standing on that ledge. You logically understand that the cord will hold you, but tactilely feel suicidal. You feel like you're simply jumping off of a bridge. There is nothing attached to the harness on you; that's to be used to hoist you back up later. There's no one strapped to your back, letting you do nothing but enjoy the view. You're alone. and it's quiet. and it's breezy.
So they basically threw me off. The first second I hated. But every other after that was complete bliss. I LOVE free fall. The upswing I couldn't even feel; except in knowing that my view was changing. The bridge is very close to the ocean, so in the 3rd swing I arched my back way over and could see the sparkly blue water behind me. Below was the most beautiful canyon I had ever seen; and that would be impossible to see by any other method.
So yeah, I liked it then, even if I was still crying as I got pulled up.
A recent conversation with my mom:
Me: "Mom, so you know how I'm turning 27 this week?"
Mom: "oh yeah, happy birthday!"
Me: "No, no. thats not what I meant. I was just gonna say to you that I just realized that that's the age that you and dad got married. That's so crazy that I'm now the age you two did that!"
Mom: "Well, you have to remember that we were very young for this modern age."
She was referring to 1984 as 'this modern age'. You know, FIVE years BEFORE the Tiananmen Square Massacre. Twenty years before she would pay for internet service. But you know, AFTER the Great Wall was built. But ya know, MODERN.
An enthusiastically noncommittal post-grad's take on all things annoying, adventuring, growing up/never growing up, the gypsy life and having the balls to try.
This just means that I love you to love it. Share at will, but don't jack it up, abuse it, or forget to give credit. I will do the same, and spread the good cyber karma.
What She Said?
The Deal
I work: PICU nurse.
I play: comic, improviser, actor, yogi, and travel fiend.
I have been a travel nurse for a while, hopping from hospital to hospital across the US. I grew up in Spokane, WA and have lived in NYC, PHX, TX, Kansas City, and on a farm in Carnation. I've just moved to Seattle after being in LA for 3 years, where I studied at UCB, improvised with my team Reply All, did standup comedy around town, and ran around intoxicated on sunshine. I am now likely making too much noise somewhere, with galoshes on my feet and a laptop tucked under my arm.
Posted by
