Where the Cool Kids Are.

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This year is that of my 10 yr High School Reunion.  You know, when you reach such an age, it's important to stop, reflect, and resonate on the decade past.  On the time spent in your life since you left your friends and upbringing, to set out in pursuit of your youthful daydreams and earnest goals.

VOMIT.  I'm just kidding.

What I really want to talk about is how dumb people, including myself, are in high school.

A scene:

I was recently in Spokane, and caught the show of a band that I really like.  We were sitting in a box on the balcony, and a man sitting in front of me caught my eye.  He was of average height, build, appearance.  Scruffy face and cheesily gelled hair.  Dirty Carhartt jacket and ill fitting jeans.  His shoes were untied.

He caught my eye because he was the coolest, hottest, biggest man on campus in High School.

(Now now, I understand all-too-well that appearance is always the worst indication of character.  But I'm also human and have eyes to see and a brain to discern.  We all make choices every day as to how we will appear to others, and that has to mean SOMETHING about how we think and who we are.  So don't pretend like you don't care about looks.  hmphrt.)

I wasn't going to say anything; after all we weren't close in High School, and certainly aren't close now.  I was pretty marginal on the cool scale, and still only keep in contact with a select few HS friends.  But apparently I looked familiar to him as well, and he turned around and spoke first.  After the initial streak of pleasantries, the convo went on:

him "Hey, so are you living here? "

me: "No, actually I'm living in LA, I've been doing some acting and I work as a nurse.  How about you?"

him: "Oh, that makes sense cuz you were always doing plays and stuff in school.  Well I didn't go to college or nothin, but I'm here in the valley.  Hey, do you have a lighter?  We lost ours and don't got nothin to light our smokes.  and oh hey, come over to our friends house after this.  We got a bunch of weed so you should come rage."  Really.

Now I'm not writing about this only to criticize, but mostly to highlight MY stupidity, ten years ago.  This guy was the envy and prize of every guy and girl I knew at that point, and I could never have imagined at that time, that there would be a day when I didn't find him to be the Best Thing Ever.  I laughed aloud at myself, thinking about all of the time I spent thinking that I would never be worthy of him ever even knowing my name, and how he was SO LUCKY to be such perfection.

Isn't it funny how, perspective seems to be earned with age?  We are born with none whatsoever, only aware of our own feelings and needs.  Then as we age, we become more and more aware of the Bigger Picture. That's the thing about high school that I knew but didn't really believe:  your life hasn't even started to start yet.  Who you are and what you will be is ever-changing, and now is not the time to be at the top of your game.  If anything, I am now thankful that I wasn't beloved at a young age; I knew very early that I had a lot of cool factor to make up for, a lot to work toward.  I'm not saying that I'm even close now; but certainly learning to place smaller and smaller importance upon whomever the It person of the moment is.

This moment of wisdom felt like the first hour of the stomach flu.  That's it for me, folks.  Blech.  Oh, and I'm not going to my reunion.  I got enough of that already.

Love Love Love.