Put on the Red Light!

You know, I like to do things.  I like interaction.  I like creating connection.  So, my friend Matt who is on my improv team and pretty similar, told me recently that the back of his credit card says “ask for a high-five!”.

WELL.  That’s important, I wanna play!  Also, I can do better!

So, I came up with that right there. 

Now, I am not (so) delusional to do this as any sort of showcase for my vocal or musical abilities.  I merely think it’s fun to put yourself in situations.  I collect stories.  I don’t take myself so seriously.  I think it’s funny.  

Mostly, people don’t pay attention and either swipe my card without so much as a glance, or preemptively ask for an ID without actually reading what it says on that strip.  Due to the lack of attention it brings, I hardly ever remember that I've done this to my Most Used Credit Card.  

However, there have been a few times that prudent employees will notice, look quizzically glance my way, and/or raise an eyebrow.  I slightly sheepishly remember my own game of Chicken with myself, shrug my shoulders, and ask if they have a request?

The most memorable have been:

"Proud Mary" -the very first time I was asked, at the worst place in LA to make an ASS of yourself.  Cafe Gratitude is a vegan restaurant in a trendy neighborhood that I LOVE, but that also demands an air of anonymity and disgression.  People keep their heads down, their voices low, and try to give all the celebs their space, ya know.  So when the server returned with my card and informed me that her manager has asked her to request the Tina Turner hit, I had no choice.  I belted out a chorus and verse to a completely unappreciative crowd of H-wood Somebodies in their shades and floppy hats.  Coco and Jae, one of whom is a touring musician turned music producer, the other a music connoisseur with the voice of an angel,  offered NO HELP.  Not a single yeah yeah yeah, no buh-duh-dum-dums, no harmonies.  NO, the two of them were doubled over laughing so hard that their musical faculties had completely left their bodies.  

"The Theme to Full House"- this was the greatest.  A man working at Bloomingdales said that his young daughter had just discovered the show via reruns on Nick at Nite.  I sang him every damn word of that song and he recorded it to play for his little girl when he got home that night.  

"Roxanne"- this one happened today.  I walked into a music store to buy a present, and the homey behind the counter noticed my card.  He gave the request to his coworker, who had helped me pick out my gift.  The dude chose this Sting song, after thinking for too long.  I seriously, only knew:

 "ROOOOX-Anne!  You dont have to put on the red light!  Roooox-aaaaaanne, (put on the red liiiiiiiight) Roooooox-aaaaanne, (put on the red liiiiiiiiight)....."

By the time I wailed those lines out, we were all laughing so hard I had to wipe tears from my eyes and sweat from my lip.  I noticed a guy standing by the bongos, with his back toward us whom turned at the racket.  He grinned at the ruckus and yelled over, "That's ALL you know?!"  But when I say guy, I should just say American Idol Winner.  Woof.