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An Immigration Story.

{Can I Instagram on this thing?}

As a post grad, Dad was thrilled to get to come to the States as an exchange student to the University of Minnesota's graduate school.  

This was a huge deal; he grew up during the Cultural Revolution, and was the first person he or anyone he knew had ever heard of that was able to leave China.  Literally no one he had every encountered had ever had any reference for moving beyond the Land of the Not Free.  

So when he made his travel arrangements, he had to get the flight information to the university staff who were coming get him.  Dad had no idea how to place an international phone call; didn't even know it existed as an option.  So he sent the UM Dept of Agriculture a telegram, detailing his arrival time and flight number.  A TELEGRAM!  Like Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman!  This was 1985!

He got on the plane (requisite small amount of cash in his pocket) and arrived at MSP, looking around expectantly for someone who might be looking for him.  Nothing.  After a while of waiting, no one was there for him.  So he wandered over to the payphone area of baggage claim, busy with bustling travelers calling family and making plans.  He spots a young mom trying to place a phone call while keeping hold of a rambunctious toddler running circles around the phone booths.  As he tells it, he strikes a deal with her through a series of pantomimes and broken Chinglish:  he will watch her kid so she can place her phone call, and then she will help him call someone to come get him.  The arrangement worked perfectly, and dad was able to get ahold of the professor who was in charge of him.  Two weeks later, this same professor comes by my dad's desk in the research lab where he was working.  He chuckles, and drops the telegram my dad had sent in front of him.  He told him it was the first telegram he had ever received.  Ha!  Isn't that embarrassing?!
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What My White Uncle Taught Me About Travel


There’s something very significant about the first time you leave your country without your parents.  Likely, you are of an age where your parents’ habits and principles are familiar to you; you might already know how they will want to experience the trip.  You know what will thrill them, what will annoy, and what they’ll want you to remember.  

In contrast, when you embark on a trip without your parents, the opportunities for new and unfamiliar are just that much more wide.  Enter Steve and Terry Foster, my adopted Aunt and Uncle whom I was gifted the opportunity to experience Thailand with for my first sans parent international trip, several years ago.  While I embarked on this journey with all of the know-how from my father tucked safely in the carry on appropriate compartment of my brain, the lesson that I use most every day of my life since then came from Uncle Steve.  

Uncle Steve taught me what it means to observe.  Sounds rudimentary, right?  It’s no revelation that international travel is a shock to the senses.  Everything you see, hear, smell, and touch is different, and you can experience it all almost by default.  Simply existing in another place will force you to live through the new and unfamiliar.  For someone raised in a Western society, a busy Asian marketplace will provide enough stimulation to fill a stack of travel journals.  So seeing new things is a given.  Whatever else you pick up, is your own responsibility.  

The first memory of this on my radar came a few days into our Thailand trip.  We were gathered with our group of students, debriefing and recounting.  Steve sat up and started to speak.  Now Uncle Steve is a pretty serene person, he’s not one to chatter about, so when he speaks up, I listen.  He said (something like) this: if he had one gift to give our generation, it would be the ability to observe.      We can be in the most incredible places in the world, but the experience of it lays in noticing.  It’s something that you can do always, and has the greatest potential to teach you.  Keep your head up, look at things.  Touch them, ask questions.  Take note of things you see that are different, or don’t make sense to you.  They make sense to somebody, and you should know why.  When you’re on a bus on your way to something, don’t just merely be on your way.  You’re already away from home!  So you are always already Somewhere!  Look around!  There’s no such thing as killing time when you travel.  It’s all noteworthy.  

At the time, I thought it was a beautiful sentiment but obvious.  Well duh, OF COURSE I am observing things!  My eyes work!  I am watching in front of me!  I am having the best time!

But then these words would hit me like this:

We are walking on the street on our way back from the night market.  We had just filled our bellies with food off the street carts, delightful buns, stews, noodles.  The storefronts were closing down as we gingerly sidestepped past locals wiping tables, stacking chairs, and locking doors.  We walk past a noodle cafe, similar to one we had stuffed our faces at, hours earlier.  A Thai woman had propped an assortment of plates, bowls, and cutting boards on the sidewalk up against her the wall of her restaurant.  She was rinsing the food off of them with an old garden hose.  There were no soap suds in sight.  She smiled at us as we avoided her murky water, and we kept walking.  As soon as we moved past, Steve let out a chuckle and said, “Those’ll probably be the plates we eat off of tomorrow.  Anyone else still using Purell?”  You see, Steve sees things, he considers them, and he finds meanings in what he sees.  Observation.  RIGHT?!


On the same trip, we were all sitting around the breakfast table as Steve approaches.  Being a farmer most of his life, he’s always first up and on this trip he had usually made a lap around the block and through the morning market by the time the rest of us emerged from our rooms, bleary eyed in search of thai coffee and a mango lassi.  This particular morning, he was all grins and giggles as he slid in next to us.  He had been to the market, and noticed a group of Thai men his age sitting around.  He saw that they were just hanging out, having breakfast and chatting before they went off to start their workdays.  They saw him there, and in ever Thai people fashion, waved him over to share in their breakfast potluck and social hour.  A regular Ol’ Boys Club, on the other side of the planet.  When this happened, I really perked up.  Well SCOFF!  I wanna sit around with the locals, be in their club and giggle together!  Why the hell wasn’t I at the market, making the most of my time there?!  Steve laughed as he quickly pointed out that had I been with him, neither of us would have been invited.  No girls at the Ol Boys Breakfast Meeting.  The missed opportunity was not a waste, however, because it didn’t take me but a mere moment to realize that these things happen because he paid attention to where he was, and who was there.  Uncle Steve has no throw away moments.  He observes. 

After this, I couldn’t stop noticing Steve observing.  He’s the first to remember street names, the first to recall what the corner bodega carries.  He picked up the rules of all the playground games the local girls played, and never failed to spot the Thai monks we loved so much, walking on their way to the temple every morning.  He could tell you exactly what time they would start appearing, the direction they went, and when they started their walk back.  He saw patterns in the way people conducted business, and how the school children interacted with each other.  The way he noticed everything was intoxicating, and I started picking up on his habit.  I gleefully began to realize that the simple skill of observation adds meaning to everywhere you go.  It’s pretty powerful stuff.  

I have a hope: 
After I die and I greet the Notorious G.O.D. at the pearly gates, I hope I’m exhausted.  I hope that I show up worn, wrinkled, muddy, greasy, and gigglin’.  I hope I’ve run myself ragged, spending a lifetime collecting observations and allowing the internal shifts to steer me to all corners of the wide world.  I hope the Lord tears open the door and laughs at the sight of me, shrieking “Geez, you look TERRIBLE!  You must want to sit!”  I hope He pours me a gin and soda, we sit on the couch, and wants to hear me retell all of these stories.  I hope He’s proud as I recount all of the things I saw, people I hugged, and weird things I ate.  
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What My Asian Dad Taught Me About Travel




My dad, among so many other things, loves making the distinction between what it means to “Know How to Travel” and to “NOT Know How to Travel”.  Among my childhood memories, there are a smattering of times that I remember being in trouble for being of the latter category.  Mr Sun, you see, has been a Seasoned Traveler for decades, and to travel with him, is to get nonstop lessons in “Knowing How to Travel”. 

1.  You carry your own bag.  So don’t ever bring anything you can’t carry.  If you ignore this advice and pack a bag you can’t carry, you’re still carrying it.  

2.  No complaining.  Ever.  Complaining accomplishes nothing, gets you nowhere faster, and only makes things worse.  He grew up in communist China.  If you have something to complain about that tops that, submit in writing later on your own time. 

3.  Eat whatever there is.  Especially if it’s weird.  Weird food is usually even more delicious than not weird food; it had to overcome its weirdness for anyone to ever want to serve it.  Especially while travelling, there is no such thing as a diet.  THE VERY WORD "DIET" MEANS FOOD.  That's typed in all caps because it's been yelled in my face.  

4.  If you ever hold up a line for ANY reason, you will be left there.  There is no excuse for ever holding up a line.  By the time you get to the threshold of a line, the very truth of having a line exist means that you have stood in said line and watched several people get through.  You should know what to do, and prepared for your moment.  If, for example, you experience a sneezing fit while in line and inevitably hold it up due to a compromise in your health, you will be skipped in line.  If you are then still able to see and hear, you will see a Chinese man roll his eyes and mutter under his breath, “Some people just don’t Know How to Travel”. 

5.  Consider the value of your time.  As a first generation immigrant from China, the easy assumption to make about my travel education would be that Price Trumps All.  We’re a race of penny pinching money savers, right??  Not so, young grasshopper.  Mr. Sun makes it very clear.  Travel time is finite.  The opportunity to acquire money is not.  Nothing is worth wasted time.  Spend the money, save the time.  Bribe the taxi driver to wait for you so you don’t have to waste time finding a cab back.  Throw the security guard a few bills to keep the gate open a few minutes longer.  Money is a fluid aspect of life, time will run out.  
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Up and Over


I'm moving!  After 2+years at my darling guesthouse in West Hollywood, I have decided it's time.  I LOVE this space so much; but the location just isn't ideal anymore.  Most of my friends live on the East Side of LA; the UCB theatre where I am studying and watching improv is on the East Side, the recreation I like is on the East Side.  Instead of spending so many hours in my car constantly getting over there every day, it's time to just wake up over there.  It's a weird thing for me; and I'm sure I will regret giving up my backyard/garage parking/in unit laundry, but time and nearness is what I'm after.  I haven't found another place yet, but will be moving out of mine at the beginning of July.  Ala votre to new starts and fresh spaces!
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Weird. Word. Woof.


Isn't this a weird hood ornament to have on your car? 

This is what I've been thinking lately.  People all over think I'm a real weird.  Friends and strangers alike think it's odd that I seem to be such a contradicting personality.  I am so outspoken and social, yet I lose my mind with loud crowds and shopping malls full of people.  I am the most non-committal being Ever; not being able to plan trips more than a few weeks ahead, yet I own a house have been maintaining a mortgage since I was 24.  I love LOVE men, and yet I only can stand to keep up with one for a little over 72 hours.  I can make Big Decisions just with nothing but a snap instinct, but DAMN, I can never decide what flavor of gelato I want.  

Also, people think LA is weird.  It's so sunny and warm, but there's constant smog and the temp hardly ever reaches swimsuit weather.  There's so much innovation here, but the roads are disastrous and the prominence of strip malls gives the impression that there's no one in charge of urban planning for this city of 4 million.  Beautiful people are aplenty, and yet the obsession with beauty also makes you cringe as you pass horrendous altered faces and plumped body parts. 

What I've realized lately, is that I will always need to live somewhere WEIRD.  We go together.  I can't ever make up my mind about the direction of my efforts, the taste of my expression, or the depth of my interests.  I need classy and trashy, sassy and gassy.  

VIVA LA WEIRDOS. 

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Why Travel Matters.




The thought first occurred to me as I shifted my weight and winced at a tingling knee in my airplane seat on a 747, bound for Lima a few years ago.  I had a backpack and a few friends, ready for a month in Peru.  Since then, the same thought seems to wander into my mind frequently whenever I’m en route Somewhere.  It bothers me, and I’ve never quite settled on an explanation and thus have spent a lot of time pondering. I’ve many a time sat in cramped quarters on my way somewhere, wondering how I would explain the behavior of travel to a martian.  “Well, people who live in modern societies pack up a small fraction of their belongings, get in various modes of transportation for hours and hours, convert their money and forgo many personal hygeine rituals, just for the experience of Being Somewhere.”  Ha!  I mean really, all that travel is is simply existing in another location for a little while.  At the core, you’re just breathing the air in another location, occupying space somewhere else.  The protons, neutrons, and electrons, that make up your body are simply conducting their processes in another place.  ISN’T IT SO WEIRD. 

On a very concrete level, it can be argued that travel really doesn’t accomplish anything.    Nothing is produced, nor eliminated.  When you go back to wherever you came from, you really have nothing to show for the money and time you spent.  People in your circle can peruse your photos, admire your trinkets, and hear your retelling of stories, but no one will ever Get It.  SO why?  We do we do this?  It’s expensive!  It’s inconvenient!  You look terrible for most of the time!  Diarrhea!

Well, the closest I have come to any sort of logical reasoning is this:  while I may not have anything to show for what I did while I was gone, I can certainly vouch for shifting.  Shifting in my mind, in my decision making, in my priorities.  Shifting in my perspective, in the things that I appreciate, and in my mood.  These shifts have led to huge changes, big decisions, and alterations of what I do, what I think, and what I love.  Life satisfaction is all in the shifts, and that’s why travel matters.    
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Sweat that CYCLE


A recurring cycle in my life:
1st: I see dance performed brilliantly.  
2nd: I am moved by the majesty of movement and music
3rd: I feel remorse over my lack of dance ability
4th: I think I lost my chance.
5th: I hate my parents for pulling me out of dance class as a child (note: they refused to buy the sequined recital outfits and were further convinced of the stupidity of American culture and child rearing.  another time....)
6th: What can only be described as an Ache starts to build in my esophagus and SOUL
7th: I lose sleep over this ache
8th: Something Shiny crosses my eye line
9th:  .....What was I aching about?  I'm hungry.

YOU GUYS I BROKE THE CYCLE AT #8!  I've been taking hip hop dance classes in Silverlake and I'm Obsessed.  This GROOV3 class is mainly a cardio dance class, but it's also mainly the most fun dance party ever.  There is a live DJ in the studio, whom never stops the HITS, Y'ALL.  Benji is the best, and I'm just sleeping so much better, knowing that I am fulfilling just a tiny bit of my untapped dance potential.  

Benji asked me to be profiled for his GROOV3 newsletter a few weeks ago, and filmed an interview of me for the site.  I'm warning you, I could not tolerate how annoying I am, and have not even seen this video in its entirety.  However, others have gotten laughs out of it so I just don't care if you all see how annoying I am as well.  


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Purple Blog Monster


I've basically been a blogger nightmare, eh?  I go to Africa in November, I blog in March.  Compile a blog to-write list THIRTY items long, sit on it til June.  

What can I say?  I've been really busy trying to swallow all of the nonsense that I create for myself; making new friends and monochromatically dressing from the waist down.  

Love you all; thanks for sticking with me.  

Oh and, LINDSAY LAVIN.  EXCUSE ME, I HAVENT REALLY BLOGGED IN A REGULAR FASHION SINCE 2012 AND I HAVE BARELY HEARD A PEEP OUT OF YOU.  EITHER YOU GOT MARRIED AND YOUR PRIORITIES TOOK A NOSE DIVE, OR YOU'RE TRYING SOME REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY BULLSHIT, TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T CARE IF I KEEP MY BLOG UPDATED.  CHECK YOUR CONSCIOUS AND ADJUST.  I NEED YOU TO PROD ME TO REACH MY POTENTIAL.

addendum: I have received word from Mrs Lavin that the nature of her silence was of the latter scenario.  she has been reprimanded. 
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City Life: Africa Style


Just some things I wanna tell you about Africa, poorly collected and type-vomited out to you.....

Money is everywhere.  You can see it in the shiny bank revolving doors, and the gleaming shop windows.  The grocery stores are stocked with produce and shiny bags of snacks.  People carry designer bags and drive luxury cars.  There is no deficit of funds here.

However, only certain people have it.  As much as there is a wealth disparity worldwide, it is HUGE here.  I was constantly noting the farmers/laborers carrying bundles and holding children while walking alongside the highway, past shiny shopping centers and car dealerships.  No one else seemed bothered by the disconnect, as far as I could see.  The poor are dirt poor, and the rich are FILTHY rich.  It really doesn't take much (by my standards, of course) to make a living there, but if you aren't born into support and resources, it's a steep and arduous climb.

Africans know how to eat, quantitatively speaking.  I'm not making a joke about not starving in Africa, but people there know how to put food away.  Whenever I shared meals with locals, I was shocked and ultimately jealous about the serving sizes they heaped on their plates.  They don't, however, really know how to eat vegetables.  I was there for a month, and really only had access to real vegetables when I cooked them myself.  Otherwise, you'll be hard pressed to find a real veggie on the menu, let alone offered to you.

sidenote: also- everything is so SALTY.  My poor kidneys were in revolt this entire trip, constantly trying to clear my body of the pickled-person state I was putting it in.  Yikes,

There are no Asians.  I must un-cheekily report to you that Janni and I were a sensation wherever we went.  We would both report that alone, people would stare intensely and without abandon, but only some would engage.  Together, we were basically the Kardashians.  Locals came up to me and proclaimed that they had never seen an asian live in person before, and gee golly some of the men made sweet sweet comments about our body parts and faces.  I can still hear them turning their heads to sing "hel-loooo, ladies.", as we walked by.  In Durban, my taxi driver told me that to him, I was like a perfect apricot.  He had never seen a slanty before.  Sometimes, it's fun to be a novelty item.  Other times, it's just plain harassment.


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Put on the Red Light!


You know, I like to do things.  I like interaction.  I like creating connection.  So, my friend Matt who is on my improv team and pretty similar, told me recently that the back of his credit card says “ask for a high-five!”.


WELL.  That’s important, I wanna play!  Also, I can do better!

So, I came up with that right there. 

Now, I am not (so) delusional to do this as any sort of showcase for my vocal or musical abilities.  I merely think it’s fun to put yourself in situations.  I collect stories.  I don’t take myself so seriously.  I think it’s funny.  

Mostly, people don’t pay attention and either swipe my card without so much as a glance, or preemptively ask for an ID without actually reading what it says on that strip.  Due to the lack of attention it brings, I hardly ever remember that I've done this to my Most Used Credit Card.  

However, there have been a few times that prudent employees will notice, look quizzically glance my way, and/or raise an eyebrow.  I slightly sheepishly remember my own game of Chicken with myself, shrug my shoulders, and ask if they have a request?

The most memorable have been:

"Proud Mary" -the very first time I was asked, at the worst place in LA to make an ASS of yourself.  Cafe Gratitude is a vegan restaurant in a trendy neighborhood that I LOVE, but that also demands an air of anonymity and disgression.  People keep their heads down, their voices low, and try to give all the celebs their space, ya know.  So when the server returned with my card and informed me that her manager has asked her to request the Tina Turner hit, I had no choice.  I belted out a chorus and verse to a completely unappreciative crowd of H-wood Somebodies in their shades and floppy hats.  Coco and Jae, one of whom is a touring musician turned music producer, the other a music connoisseur with the voice of an angel,  offered NO HELP.  Not a single yeah yeah yeah, no buh-duh-dum-dums, no harmonies.  NO, the two of them were doubled over laughing so hard that their musical faculties had completely left their bodies.  

"The Theme to Full House"- this was the greatest.  A man working at Bloomingdales said that his young daughter had just discovered the show via reruns on Nick at Nite.  I sang him every damn word of that song and he recorded it to play for his little girl when he got home that night.  

"Roxanne"- this one happened today.  I walked into a music store to buy a present, and the homey behind the counter noticed my card.  He gave the request to his coworker, who had helped me pick out my gift.  The dude chose this Sting song, after thinking for too long.  I seriously, only knew:

 "ROOOOX-Anne!  You dont have to put on the red light!  Roooox-aaaaaanne, (put on the red liiiiiiiight) Roooooox-aaaaanne, (put on the red liiiiiiiiight)....."

By the time I wailed those lines out, we were all laughing so hard I had to wipe tears from my eyes and sweat from my lip.  I noticed a guy standing by the bongos, with his back toward us whom turned at the racket.  He grinned at the ruckus and yelled over, "That's ALL you know?!"  But when I say guy, I should just say American Idol Winner.  Woof.  
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