Off to Neverland

*pic from New York Times article "What Is It About 20-Somethings?"

Have you read this? It's been atop the NY times most emailed list of articles for several days now, and I can certainly see why.

Stuffy old people are just fascinated with why 20-somethings wont grow up'.

Yeah, I've seen the statistics, I understand the logic. People of youth these days are taking longer to become financially stable, start careers, get married and have children. They take longer to leave home, they go back more frequently even after doing so. We are over-coddled, over-loved, overindulged, and underestimated. True, true, true, most true.

This article chronicles the tales of so many examples of under-developed adults who "seem(s) to have gone off course, as young people remain un tethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling)Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life."

Furthermore, the author goes on to spout endless statistics of how often people in their twenties move, how many times they change their jobs, how many romantic relationships they endure, and how old they are when they finally succomb to biology and get knocked up. ooops, I mean, decide to have children. Experts on sociology and psychology illustrate the idea that , in our society, the timeline for becoming an adult has changed. People are less focused on the traditional idea of when that age is appropriate. Then the article goes on to give X. Y, and Z reasons for why we are so stunted, what it will mean for future generations, and the pros and cons of this phenomenon, etc etc.

You, my friend, are going to hear my thoughts on the matter.

This generation was raised by a generation that was pressured to grow up. The baby boomers lived through a time where they were expected, in their early twenties, to take their place, fall in line, choose a career, stick to it, choose a spouse, stick with him/ her, have children, and basically be stuck for the rest of their lives. How sticky.

So how did that work out for everyone? I'm thinking not so hot. Our parents' generation, after all, made divorce acceptable and perhaps even righteous. They coined the term "mid life crisis". Suicide rates are through the roof and substance abuse runs rampant. From my own understandings, I have watched many an "adult" suffer through the choices that they made in their 20s, while telling themselves that they had to "grow up" and commit. So much dissatisfaction and turmoil seen now stems from seemingly iron clad commitments made in their twenties. Hmmmmm.

Well you know what? I'm not interested.

Yes, my generation is completely overconfident and gluttonous. Yes, we can't make adult decisions. Yes, we take longer to settle into what you old people call a "life routine." But it's because we have seen what our previous generation has been through with all of that, and it's not appealing. So who cares if we switch jobs 100 times in a decade? Who cares if we don't get married? Who cares if we don't have kids or a house or a 'stable routine'. Isn't it so awesome that we can spend the first years of our independence thrashing through, making mistakes, using trial and error, and figuring out who we are the kind of lives we really want for ourselves?

We've seen that other, mature, life. It sucks. I will choose adventure and the right to not commit to anything. Of course, I do own a house and all that that entails, but it's always negotiable. I never know when my house might be jettisoned for a beach hut in Australia, or a houseboat in the Maldives. I'm financially stable, but I won't commit to a career, I won't get married unless I can't stand not to, and I won't have children until my ovaries scream for them. I will relish in my lack of leashes and delight in my (no plan) plan. I will find joy all over this world and pray fervently for all of those who succumbed to the pressure of growing up, who jumped into a life they didn't choose, and whom can't remember why they are wearing a tie, are laying next to a person they married before they knew themselves, and are trapped in a cubicle for the sake for their retirement funds.

As my great hero Peter Pan says :

if growing up means it would be,

beneath my dignity to climb a tree,

ill never grow up, never grow up, never grow u-P, not me!

...and if it means I must prepare,

to shoulder burdens with a worried air,

i'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow u-P, so there.

'cause growing up is awfull-er,

than all the awful things that ever were,

i'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow u-P, no sir!