Lessons from Lorelai

(source)

In a gathering of dear friends and casual acquaintances recently, we got to chatting on our favorite TV shows growing up.  The 90s classics were all covered; the Boy Meets World, the Wonder Years, what have you.  But I couldn't help but chime in that I've been pretty formed by my exposure of Lorelai Gilmore.  As the leading lady and matron of the Gilmore Girls, she (actor Lauren Graham) navigated herself and her daughter Rory (played by Alexis Bledel) through the ebbs and flows of Rory's adolescence while running an inn in a tiny New England town.  She was a teen mom, who got her shit together fast and kept enough of a twinkle in her eye to maintain some fun and fancy in her adult years.  She's my hero, and her very spirit is one that I carry with me always, every time I flirt with an old man at a farmers market or grocery store.

What she's taught me includes but is not limited to the following:
1.  If you can't be appropriately dressed, be hot.  When the gals were late for Rory's first day at her super fancy private high school, Lorelai didn't have time to adorn her power suit before throwing the two of them in the car to get there on time.  Instead, she grabbed the first thing at the end of her bed: cut off shorts and cowboy boots.  She certainly raised some eyebrows among the country club set that morning, but hell, she looked hot.

2. Know when to pick your battles.  Lorelai had difficult, stogy parents.  The kind of parents that make you run away to a tiny town when something scary happens, because they'd be more hardship than help.  However, as Rory got older, she learned how to navigate their past hurts and somehow still manage to create a healthy relationship with her daughter.  I've recently come to terms that my parents and I won't have the kind of relationship that she has with Rory.  I'm just gonna follow her lead and choose to be amused by them, instead of bruised.  Superhero status.

3. Coffee.  She was addicted to the stuff, and a percentage of the story line of every episode emerged from Lorelai needing coffee, being on her way to get coffee, leaving from getting coffee, having to change her coffee source, waiting for her coffee at a counter, or being interrupted as she drank her coffee.  The lesson here?  Have something that you love and allow that to dictate your movements.

4. Talk Fast and Wildly.  I cannot think of a single scenario that wasn't mediated or at least commentated by Lorelai's witty banter and snarky rhetoric.  She may not have gone to college or speak another language, but she damn sure had english down pat.  I love women with sharp tongues.  I have this idea that they are more satisfied with their lives, because they know how to get the things they want.  Maybe they won't ever be invited to a G8 Summit, but they sure as hell would be the best gal to get you backstage at a Springsteen show.  Put yourself on your death bed for a second.  Which would you rather?  I say, get me straight to the Boss.

5.  She knows exactly how much shit to take from dudes.  Don't get me wrong, this girl is no damsel in distress like, ever.  But she rides the fence perfectly between (Goddess of Self Sufficiency and Low Bullshit Tolerance Who Could Drop Ya Like a Bad Cell Signal) and (Human Woman Who Falls for Right/Wrong People and Likes to Be Kissed Passionately and Hold Hands).  She falls for a teacher at Rory's school, but makes it totally cool and is open about it to everyone.  She tries to fall in love with Rory's dad, riding the wave of nostalgia and girlish affection a few times again.  She finally concedes to falling for Luke, the local diner owner that has always been there for her.  She fights it hard, but gives in eventually.  It's weird, but right.  So she cannonballs in.  She is always the bigger person, defending herself when she's being mistreated, and in turn defending the dudes when others judge too harshly.

If only she were real.