Wanted: a clue.

It's a strange and unnerving phenomenon that occurs about two-three years after you graduate from college. I call it Rapid-Onset Possibly Debilitating Soul Search Syndrome. You spend years studying your craft in college, you focus. You surround yourself with others who have made the same career/educational choices as you. You study, pass tests, do internships, train. You become qualified and then permitted to act as a bona fide nurse/accountant/circus trainer. A few years go by.... now what? You settle into your career, get a little comfortable and then realize: Uh, is this it? Cue letdown.

I have recently come to this. While I do love nursing, I have now seen that the part I love about nursing is what it gives me, not necessarily what I do. Everyone I know has heard me singing the praises of my profession. Those are all legit. I love the hours, the flexibility, the challenge, and the job security. But there's always a flip side. What's even more absurd about this happening is that I am hearing the same story with so many of my fellow peers. We just aren't sure this was the right idea. Sher hates her corporate accounting job, Stace is running in circles trying to stay on top of Texas oil, TL is a slave to her deskchair, I want to chase some butterflies.

Here are my qualms:

1. It bothers me that I only interact with people professionally during times of crisis. I want to be a part of people's everyday lives, to meet them during happy times, too. I want to be with people who are on vacation. Everyone loves vacation.

2. I never saw myself as a worker bee. I would like to be in more leadership roles. As a nurse, you only go to nurse manager. Holy paper shuffling. Yuck.

3. I sometimes have a hard time with the nursing population. It can be stereotyped to say that nurses are known for being overtired, overworked, cranky, overweight, lazy, and generally a bother to be around. Stereotypes are always started with some major evidence. Just saying.

4. In the setting of a hospital, there always seems to be an "us vs. them" attitude between nurses and doctors. This is horseshit. In fact, lots of nurses think it strange to find me texting a doctor. Guess what?! They poop brown just like the rest of us. This really irks me.

In lieu of these qualms, I have the thought that perhaps I might venture into other areas of interest. While I love travel nursing, I know that this won't be possible forever. I will likely be doing this for a long time, but I think it's fair to say that when I am finished travel nursing, I might be finished nursing in general. I have compiled a list of preferences in case I never grow the cohones to try another occupation. In no order of significance:

1. Be outside more

2. Dont sit around and get fat/ use my body in my work ...... ala the blue zone lifestyle

3. Make me cooler than I am now

4. no hairnets, business suits, or chaps.... generally must not be forced to dress like any member of the Village People

5. learn a superuseful skillset..... like woodcarving. or skydiving. or operating a crane.

6. interact with people during happy times

7. allow for an abundance of travel

8. encourage less focus on monetary motivation

9. get the opportunity to be a really good boss.... like Blake Mycoskie.

10. help me to learn contentedness.

PS. is this silly butterfly chaser wanting the American way? is it just never enough? if so, i'm moving to italy.