Sweet Sam.

I have joined the ranks of Dads and Grandparents everywhere in being completely wrapped around a little girl's finger.  I'm gonna be a cheeseball about this.  I think about her all the time, I wonder what kind of girl she will become, and I wonder how much I will get to do with it.  I worry that she isn't being given what she deserves.  It's hard to love a little thing like her; you want to jump all over her world, spray her with invisa-shield and slay all dragons that dare threaten her every joy.    Sometimes I'm bitter with TL for bringing her into my life and making me fall for her before I was ready to settle down and help more.  That's really immature, I realize, but I feel secure knowing that I have made no guarantees of maturity on this thread.  All the same, as soon as I feel bitter I then feel so thankful because TL has never given me anything so great as Sam.  In all issues Sam-related, I find myself torn.  Wouldn't it be the right thing to do to just swallow my antsyness and go home for a while?  I could help out, be there to help raise her, start my subliminal messages about the Zags, Hudson jeans, and Apple computers.  In the same breath, won't I have so much more to offer Sam if I see as much as I can now, in order to tell her things later?  Am I just a selfish, silly girl chasing butterflies or is there some substance to my wandering?  There is no clarity. Lordy, I need to get out of Texas.  The grease in the air is getting to my head.