Wrong Asian.

{photo: ABC.com}

I love Modern Family.  It's hilarious.  But guys, don't we really think that that show has a Ming-sized gap?  Aren't I what's missing from the scenario??  Thankfully for all of us, I have come up with the perfect solution to fill such a void. 

The Way I See It:

So Cam and Mitchell hire a Vietnamese nanny for Lily so she doesn't lose touch with her Asian roots.  You know, it's very important for her to stay connected to her culture.  Angelina Jolie does it with her kids. 

They go through interview after interview of terrible Asian nanny applicants.  One they can't understand because of her horrendous accent.  Another threatens to beat Lily if she doesn't play the violin.  Yet another believes she is only there to teach her multiplications tables.  Finally, they find the perfectly balanced Asian nanny.  She was born overseas, but raised in the US.  She knows how to cook Asian food, but also sings Sesame Street songs.  She speaks her native tongue to her parents but has no accent in English.  Unbeknownst to them, their perfect nanny one is actually Chinese.  In their defense, they did see so many applicants and they all look the same!  Plus nowadays, you cant just ASK someone what race they are! Insensitive!

Lily and they love her, and she becomes another member of the family.  They play Asian dress up, Nanny teaches her how to use chopsticks.  The whole gang starts learning...Chinese phrases.

{photo source}

Big reveal that she's not Vietnamese (which I suppose I can leave up to the Emmy-award winning writers over there at ABC)....Cam and Mitchell are mortified but can't fire her for being the wrong kind of Asian?!  I mean seriously, what will the gay-parent community say!  Gay parents can't discriminate against race, can they?!  Disaster!

(Cut to Nanny via single camera interview)

She knew she was the wrong kind of Asian all along.  But she needed the job to fund her hip hop dancer dreams, and the Chinese are taking over the world anyway.  So really, she's doing them a favor.  Plus, like her mother says, all Asians are basically Chinese.  (in Asian accent): "Like-uh figh sousand yeuh hees-tori".  (five thousand year history)

Umm, will someone pass this idea gold-mine to whomever they know at ABC, please?  I will be awaiting the call from the head writers.  I would like to be hired as actor AND writer, ala Mindy Kaling.  Please and thank you.