A Practical Dilemma in Morality.

I have recently been made aware that Los Angeles is the homeless capital of the United States. It wasn't in the news, I didn't read it in LA Weekly, no article posted on my homepage CNN.com.

I learned about it the old fashioned way.  By looking out my car window.

Is everyone as bothered to the core when they drive by the homeless as I am?  My gut falls to my knees, my blood pressure skyrockets, and my palms sweat like brewskis in the South. I can palpate their desperation, and the glimmer of hope as a car approaches.

I always consider reaching in my wallet.  But then I chicken out, recalling all of those 20/20 episodes I have seen revealing lazy impostors with cardboard signs, or flighty girls like myself whose faces get blown off by violent criminals as soon as they roll down their windows.

oh, you don't recall that episode?  I may have exaggerated slightly....

nonetheless, I would be completely willing to spare any and all change I have to the less fortunate if there wasn't the constant undertone of bodily threat/carjack. Most of the time I consider just cracking my window to just throw the money at them, so that they don't need to come close to my car, or even shove it out of my sunroof.

....but what kind of an asshole throws money at homeless people?!  It would seem like I did it just to watch them scramble for it.

That is not the godly way to think.  The godly way would be to offer yourself as a target, and hope that your compassion and faith serve as a testimony.

I'm not there yet.  I give, but in courage-less ways.  I just still don't know how to hang out with my fears.