disclaimer: i am almost embarrassed to relay the account of this below instance. it's pathetic, but it's all real. It happens somewhere, every day. The unimaginable nightmare. You head into the bathroom for a routine draining of bladder. You relieve, and lightheartedly turn around to push the flusher. Just as your fingers are about to graze the edge of the lever, a silhouette catches your eye from the abyss of the bowl. You glance down, and your stomach drops out of your butt.
It's your iphone.
In a split second you gasp, shriek, and thereafter can't speak. Without a thought in your mind, you reach into that cursed bowl, potty water and all, and fetch that blessed gadget out from its yellow drowning. You fingers scramble as you desperately work against the clock to get the liquid off of it, wiping it on your hands, clothes, nearest bathrug. Immediately you run out of the bathroom (nope, didnt wash my hands, I now realize) and announce to the room that you just dropped your iphone in the toilet. If you happen to be at Jake Foster's house in Livermore with a bunch of boys while they help him move, they will all stop and respectfully gasp. and then Aunt Terry will tell you to put your phone in a bag of rice overnight, to draw the liquid out. From then on, it's a wait-and-see game, until the fateful next morning when you garner the balls to turn it on.
In this scenario, dear iphone will loyally turn on and give the illusion of full functionality. But after some testing and pushing, you will discover that it's actually developed a seizure disorder and is now possessed by the spirit of toilet bowl gremlins. It no longer gives sound from all speakers, and it keeps mistakenly performing actions without provoke.
Sigh.
Afterword: Although i lost everything on that phone, including notes from every church service I attended while having it, pictures, and apps, the beautiful people at the Pleasanton, CA Apple store just effortlessly replaced it. I'm sure they pitied me, after I gave them the sob story of being on my way to LA, where I don't know the roads......No, they didn't ask if my phone had ever been immersed in urine. So I didn't offer the information.
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1 comments:
it was for reals. But as usual, you overcame the said adversity with an incredible sense of Mingni. Love you mucho xo PS I was born in Whittier...you're almost in my ol' stompin' grounds..although at that time I couldn't stomp..."crawlin' grounds" =)
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