This (not) Just In

Phelps for President

I've emerged from my Olympic coma. Awakened to reality. It ain't so pretty. Sigh.

The 16 days of the ceremonies were, for me, filled with tears, laughter, and swearing at French athletes. Ah, sportsmanship. Phelpsie is the King. It seemed that most everyone I encountered was endlessly curious about my thoughts/loyalties to the USA or China during these games. Don't you get it?! I win, either way. I was happy to cheer on the burgers and the egg rolls. GAme on, man.

It was truly bizarre to see such notable and familiar faces in places that I have been so many times but have never been able to share with anyone without slanty eyes. As much as it was over-hyped, China was indeed being introduced to the world. Every time I have gone, I have felt that it had nothing to do with my 'other life' in the States. Now, all of a sudden, I'm watching Kobe c-walk down the Great Wall. What a trip. It's childish to think, but despite 1/5 of the world's population being Chinese like myself, I felt like China was just my family's and mine. We were the only people I knew who had seen and understood it. It's not that way anymore. Weird. Good.

My Top Ten of Beijing 2008:



10: Misty-May and Kerri prove that beach volleyball was not just invented to market tan skin and skimpy "sports" swimwear. Them's tall drinks of water. With killer serves to boot.
9: China's gymnasts are underage. Everyone around me brings it up as if I, being genetically linked to the nation (like 20% of humanity!), have something to do with it. Have we not all been through college? Do rules apply to communists?! C'mon you wasps. Quit looking to me for comment, seems I was the only one who was unshocked.
8: Bikers fall. Even if not at the circus, still conjures the same hilarity. If not more. I know, I know, olympic moment, years of training. OH BLAH. Life is unpredictable. Bikers slip in the rain. It's funny. (side note: um, Tiananmen Square was cleared of traffic for these bike events. I have been there, more than once, and I am baffled by this feat. I am told it required no tankers, unlike the clearing of protestors in '89.)
7: I start wearing a bib to catch drool as I watched that leggy Romanian woman finish 26 miles in 2 hours and 26 minutes. I doubt I could drive that fast. Inner race pride for the Chinese women who led the chase group:)
6: Jason Lezak. He's a swimming dinosaur who shaved an entire second off of his personal best time in the relay to win himself and three other men Olympic gold. Aunt Terry and I go text wild. T-shirts are made. Commence the cussing at Frenchmen, followed by (still) no remorse. Phelpsie screams. I scream too:)
5: Dara Torres wins silver. This should be in the worst moment category, as she had captured our hearts with her story of motherhood and impending menopause. I wanted her to go out on top. In hindsight, her silver medal is even more heartbreaking to me as the gold medals were earned by that Aussie slut Stephanie Rice. There's not enough room on this planet for the both of us. I will pray for her soul. No, I'm not mature enough to let sports be sports. I saw the pictures, I'm sure it was her fault.
4: I realize kayaking is an Olympic sport. I think the world has gone too far. Engineered "rivers" to navigate while going down/upstream through, for lack of the real term, 'wickets' dangling over the course? Whoever invented the kayak must be rolling in his grave. I can still find humor and irony in it. Still happy to watch.
3: Morgan Freeman makes me blubber with every voiced-over VISA commercial. Go World. Nike, in close second, only makes me mist. I still have my pride. Hopefully.
2: The Opening Ceremony. While not an event of sportsmanship or athleticism, necessarily, it was still the culmination of years of practice, planning, money, creativity, and heart. It's been a while since I was so proud to be caught in the Asian stereotype. We may not be that fast, strong, or cool, but we know precision, strength in numbers, and grace. I joke with everyone that all of the performers were wired with shock collars. That's how they performed so seamlessly and in sync. The sad part is, people believe me. Ah, the Americans.
1: Phelpsie x7. While his last gold of the games was one of epic proportions, this 100M fly was the best. I was so nervous I couldn't even watch him in the ready room, which had been thus far one of the best perks of broadcast television for me. The sheer panic/joy in his face is priceless and will be forever emblazoned inmy memory. I also loved watching his mom pseudo-stroke in the stands. What a lovely woman.